Me on Some Manga I've Recently Read

Hi there! I'm still trying to find a balance between the good brain days and the bad ones, as well as regaining my interest in reading the books I have waiting for me. I think I need to mix in more visual stories, more comics, graphic novels, manga, and webcomics. That being said, here are some thoughts on some manga volumes I recently picked up at the library.

Flying Witch Vols 1-4 by Chihiro Ishizuka. Flying Witch follows the story of Makoto, a novice witch who's just packed up all of her belongings, along with her cat familiar Chito, and headed off from Yokohama to rural Aomori (I looked it up, I think it's a 9 hour drive) to freeload with some cousins, including Kei, a young man who's the same age, and his younger sister Chinatsu. It was turned into an anime for the Spring 2016 season (April to June), so I knew what the story was going it. I was mostly reading this to see how it differed from the anime (not that much) and what happened after the anime ended (because it was only 12 episodes long and I don't think there'll be a second season (this happens so much)).

It's a very gentle, easy-going slice of life story. There's a vague overall theme, which is Makoto being a witch and learning how to be a better which, as she's only 15 (even if in the witch world that's a fully-fledged adult). There aren't any enemies or rivals or fights to the death; it's just a slow, countryside tale of a teenage girl and her family and friends out in a rural town. Which sometimes you want to read about. I loved the little bits of witch lore and mythology that would pop up and be so every day, at least to Makoto and over time to Kei, Chinatsu, and their parents. The Harbinger of Spring, a fairy-esque (even though they're the size of an adult human) being who brings spring across the land. A café run by witches and hidden by a glamour spell. Whales flying through the sky. The newspaper person. It's cute and charming and funny and an overall great read. The art style is nice, too. Not too complicated, overloading the page, but also not too sparse. As always, I enjoyed the characters' faces and expressions. Currently, 6 volumes have been translated and published by Vertical Comics, with the 7th out this summer (Volume 8 will be out in Japan this fall).

Behind the Scenes Vols 1-3 by Bisco Hatori. Behind the Scenes is about Ranmaru, a 1st year in college who's come to the big city after growing up surrounded by a rough and boisterous family of fisher folk. He's never felt like he fit in with them, being the quiet one who's constantly pessimistic about everything and always gets seasick on a boat. He figured going away to college, staying with some relatives, would help him find his place. But it's been two months and he's discovered that he hates crowds and doesn't know what to do with his life. Then he stumbles onto a zombie movie shoot and faints from shock. When Ranmaru wakes up, he finds himself at the mercy of the Art Squad and their president, Ryuji Goda. I wanted to give this a read because the premise sounded interested and I was curious as to what Bisco Hatori was working on as I've read one of her previous series, Ouran High School Host Club.

I rather liked the set-up and the first 3 volumes. It's looking like the series is going to be about Ranmaru, him working through his hang-ups and problems and shyness while working with the other members of the Art Squad and helping them work through their own personal problems. Because all the members of the Art Squad has their bits and secrets. Ruka's family situation, Maasa's desperate search for a boyfriend who won't be grossed out by her love of zombies and gore, Tomu's happy-go-lucky attitude and delinquent past, Izumi's easy-going nature and the crowd of girls that wait their turn to maybe date him. And Ryuji, who you don't really learn too much about in the first 3 volumes beyond how passionate he is in the work the club does, how much he pushes them to evolve and push past any issues they might have. Ranmaru is interesting, he's quiet and always panicking about something, but he's great at crafts and creating and noticing the little details that most people miss. Like cracks around a skylight, or someone's notes in their film script, or the next day's weather. He's definitely going to be someone the club will rely on. There are currently 5 volumes translated and published by Viz Media, the 6th will be out in March (in Japan, volume 7 was released last September).

I hope you enjoyed this. I'm slowly going through a list of manga that I've been waiting to appear at my local library, ones I've seen anime adaptations of or are by artist whose work I like, so there might be more posts like this in the future. :)

Me on Kim Reaper Volume 1

Title: Kim Reaper Volume 1: Grim Beginnings
Author/artist: Sarah Graley
Release Date: March 13, 2018
Publisher: Oni Press

Like most university students, Kim works a part-time job to make ends meet. Unlike most university students, Kim's job is pretty cool: she's a grim reaper, tasked with guiding souls into the afterlife. Like most university students, Becka has a super intense crush. Unlike most university students, Becka's crush is on a beautiful gothic angel that frequents the underworld. Of course, she doesn't know that. Unaware of the ghoulish drama she's about to step into, Becka finally gathers up the courage to ask Kim on a date! But when she falls into a ghostly portal and interrupts Kim at her job, she sets off a chain of events that will pit the two of them against angry cat-dads, vengeful zombies, and perhaps even the underworld itself. But if they work together, they just might make it... and maybe even get a smooch in the bargain.

Kim Reaper Volume 1: Grim Beginnings is cute and complicated, a story about two college girls, one bubbly and hopeful and the other a grim reaper. And so, like college girls, they have to deal with a lot of things, like crushes and ghosts and dorm parties and zombie hordes, but they'll make it out in the end. Right?

Becka is cute and boisterous, spending her time in class staring at the back of current crush Kim's head. Dreaming of dates and hand-holding and maybe actually talking to her. But what Becka doesn't know, until she falls into a massive portal and follows her, is that Kim in a grim reaper-in-training, guiding souls to the afterlife in order to pay her rent and school fees. Becka gets it, she works part-time at a bakery, but a grim reaper? With all the death and possible danger? With the ghosts and the zombies? That might be too much for Becka. But there's still something about Kim. I liked their dynamic, their relationship. It was rocky at first, because of course it was. Both young women are opinionated and set in terms of what they like and what they don't, so I liked that it wasn't always easy-going.

The art is lots of bubbly fun with a hint of creepy, which comes from the ghosts and skulls and dead things Kim deals with. I like the differences between Becka and Kim, how it's obvious in their expressions and gestures and colour palette that Becka is the cute and fun one that's also not prepared to deal with any drama while Kim is the more serious one, determined to do her job because she actually likes it. I like the look of this comic, it makes me think of Saturday morning cartoons. With dead cats and zombies.

I do think this is the start of something fun, a cute story about two college girls and one's weird but well-paying part-time job. Who knows what will come next? More weird ghosts and hauntings? Kim and Becka going on another date? I found this fun, at times sweet and at times serious, and I'll be keeping an eye out for more.

(I received an e-galley of this title to review from Oni Press through NetGalley.)

Me on Let's Talk About Love

Title: Let's Talk About Love
Author: Claire Kann
Release Date: January 23, 2018
Publisher: Swoon Reads (Macmillan imprint)

Alice is secretly asexual, and that's the least important thing about her. She's a college student, has a great job, amazing friends, and is fine being single—nope, that's a lie. Alice wants romcom-grade romance: feels, cuddling, kissing, and swoons galore—as long as it doesn't lead to having sex. After her last relationship ends with soul-crushing parting words from her ex, Alice swears off relationships for good. Stick a fork in her, she's done. Everyone Alice tries to date is so sure love and sex have to go together, and there doesn't seem to be any way to convince them otherwise. But when Alice experiences instant attraction for the first time with her coworker Takumi, she doesn't know what to do. If Alice tells him the truth, it can only end in heartache. But there's something about Takumi that makes him worth the risk…

Let's Talk About Love is sweet, open, and honest. This is the story of a young woman wanting her life to work out, and it is, mostly, except for the fact that her romantic partners haven't been open to understanding her sexuality.

Alice is kind, supportive, and creative. She's happy living with her best friends, she's just picked up a great summer job, and things are going great. Apart from the constant pressure from her family to go to law school when she's not so sure about it. Apart from the cold goodbye from her recent ex-girlfriend who didn't understand why Alice was never interested when they had sex. Because Alice is asexual. She's perfectly happy to have that emotional connection with a partner, the support and the cuddling on the couch in the evenings. But not sex, because Alice doesn't feel sexually attracted to anyone. And she'd hoped to find someone who understood that. Now that she's single, Alice has sworn off relationships. If no one will understand what she needs, then she won't bother with dating. Until she meets her new co-worker and Alice actually feels something. Feels attracted to him. And now everything Alice thought she knew is completely out of whack.

There's something so wonderful in this book that needs to happen far more, both in fiction and in real life, and that's a willingness to see things from a perspective that isn't your own. The book starts with Margot dumping Alice because she doesn't understand Alice's asexuality, she doesn't understand that Alice cares so much about her and doesn't feel the need to express that through sex the way that Margot does. And so Margot leaves, taking it personally, not wanting to or not prepared to see their relationship through Alice's eyes and mind. But Takumi does. He takes the time to think about things from Alice's perspective, to try and understand what her asexuality means. Which is what Alice needs in order to be happy.

I can't speak as to the accuracy of Alice's experiences as a young black woman or as someone who identifies as asexual, but I certainly hope they're as honest and as realistic as possible. I certainly felt for Alice, I certainly wanted her to be happy without having to compromise on such an important part of her identity. I would definitely recommend this to those looking for more romance in LGBTQIA YA, to those looking for an asexual main character, and to those looking for a moving story.

(I received an advance copy of this title from Raincoast Books.)

Blog tour: Gena/Finn

Hi all! Welcome to one of today's stops on the final day of the Gena/Finn blog tour! I'm so happy to be part of the blog tour, I love books by Hannah (they always punch you smack in the heart), and I was excited for this one with her friend Kat and reading about fandom and life and problems and how everything can intersect. Thanks so much to Raincoast Books and to Hannah and Kat for answering my question. :)

Gena/Finn certainly highlights how some internet friendships start, two people who have a shared interest in something coming together and talking about it before moving onto other things. Like Gena heading off to college and her meds and her hallucinations. Like Finn struggling to find work and figuring out her relationship with Charlie. In the beginning they barely know each other, but they still share some personal details. Do you think this is what internet friendships give us, a space to share some of the things we can't with those close to us? Is it the weird filter the Internet provides, the ability to have the sounding board qualities of a person but not be an actual person? The separation from not talking face-to-face?

KAT: Something Finn comes to realize early on in the book is that the people you meet online actually are real people. I think Charlie feels that his online friends, the members of his guild, are just faceless names, but Gena and Finn are waking up to the fact that the person in the computer is incredibly human and important. And, in fact, they find it really hard to maintain a separation. So I would say the internet can provide that filter for some people in some cases, but I don't think that's definitive of online friendships.

HANNAH: I don't think Gena ever had to wake up to that, actually. She has some of the same experiences I do--she's been in fandom for a long time, she went to a small school and thus is very good at deep conversations and very bad at small talk--so for her opening up has always been really natural.

Title: Gena/Finn
Authors: Hannah Moskowitz & Kat Helgeson
Release Date: May 17, 2016
Publisher: Chronicle Books

Gena (short for Genevieve) and Finn (short for Stephanie) have little in common. Book-smart Gena is preparing to leave her posh boarding school for college; down-to-earth Finn is a twenty-something struggling to make ends meet in the big city. Gena's romantic life is a series of reluctant one-night-stands; Finn is making a go of it with long-term boyfriend Charlie. But they share a passion for Up Below, a buddy cop TV show with a cult fan following. Gena is a darling of the fangirl scene, keeping a popular blog and writing fan fiction. Finn's online life is a secret, even from Charlie. The pair spark an unlikely online friendship that deepens quickly (so quickly it scares them both), and as their individual "real" lives begin to fall apart, they increasingly seek shelter online, and with each other.

Gena/Finn is honest and heart-wrenching, so telling about the relationships we have with others and the different things we share with different people. This reads almost like an homage to fandom, to the friendships we make with people we only know across the vast distance that is the Internet, because sometimes those friendships end up defining us. For better or for worse, or somewhere in between.

Gena is bright and excited, pushing hard to make it out of her boarding school and off to college in the fall. She's looking forward to the new start while spending her downtime writing fanfics about her current interest, the cop show Up Below. It's great expanding on scenes and imagining what might've happened or (according to some fans) what should've happened. Finn is fresh out of college and floundering a bit. Now that's off in California with her boyfriend Charlie, she's struggling to find a decent job and sound happy in the e-mails to her parents. The only thing she has that cheers her up is Up Below and the little corner she's carved out for herself in its fandom. It's like they needed each other when they first met online. They needed someone to talk to, to talk out ideas, to share personal things that they wouldn't dare tell those close to them.

So much of this book is about fandom, about being a fan and sharing thoughts and ideas with other fans. About meeting people who feel the same way and slowly sharing other things with them. It shows the ups and downs of fandom, the fanfic writers and artists, the ones who are obsessed with certain characters, the ones who go to conventions to meet the actors and cosplay. The ones who hide themselves in fandom to avoid their 'real lives.' Some people need this escape, this time away from work or school or family in order to express themselves.

There's also a lot to be said about friendship and relationships in this book. The differences between the-person and online ones, the things we hide from those we're close to and the things we freely share with near-strangers on the Internet. How do we define these relationships? Can we? Clearly we need them, clearly Finn and Gena need them. Different people do different things for us, support us in different ways. They let us share or create, yell or cry or party. As multi-faceted as we can be, so are the relationships we have.

This book definitely doesn't hide that behind fandom, behind cheery letters to family and friends behind stories and art, there are people looking for a way to escape real life. That sometimes things get too hard, get too serious, and we're so afraid to ask for help, to admit defeat, that we retreat into something that makes us happy. That sometimes it's the connections we make with people we barely know that make us the strongest or the safest we've ever been. A definite must-read for those looking for books about friendships, relationships, fandom, and how they shape our lives.

(I received an advance copy of this title to review from Raincoast Books.)

Me on Out of Frame

Title: Out of Frame
Author: Megan Erickson
Release Date: March 15, 2016
Publisher: Intermix (Penguin imprint)

Perpetually shy, Quinn Mathers is content to remain in the shadow of his brash best friend Jess Hartman. But before their college graduation, he and Jess have planned one last hurrah: a spring break Caribbean cruise. And it won't be just any cruise. On board are members of the reality show Trip League, which follows young twenty-somethings on adventures around the world. Since the show's beginning, Quinn has been fascinated by J. R. Butler, with his amazing body, warm eyes, and killer grin. Unfortunately, he's straight—or so the world thinks. At nineteen, J. R. signed a contract to play straight for the show, and there's no way to get out of it now. Yet with each passing day, Quinn and J. R. find it harder to keep their hands off each other and to keep out of the camera's frame. But when the lens finally focuses on them, J. R. must decide if he's willing to risk his career by admitting his bisexuality, and Quinn must determine if he's bold enough to stand in the spotlight with the man of his dreams...

Out of Focus is about two people trying to figure each other out, trying to figure themselves out, together while trying to keep things secret. Which is hard when you're on a cruise ship full of cameramen and drunk college students. These are the struggles of two men who want to be honest with themselves, with those around them, but for some reason or another keep getting held back.

Quinn is sweet, kind, and often slightly worried, which is just how he is. Growing up an only child with nervous parents, some of it was bound to wear off. But he doesn't want to be worried so much anymore. He wants to live after the last few years of constant college, constant saving and working, and a not-so-healthy relationship. He wants be alive, he wants to be wanted, but he doesn't want it to hurt.

J.R. is essentially living two lives. The public life, the one shown on camera, has him being tough, harsh, sneering, and straight. In his private life, the one he lives when he's alone or talking to his parents and brother on the phone, he's none of those things. He's been caught by circumstance and his own failed trust in his agent, stuck playing the role of the slightly tough straight black guy on a 'reality show.' It's wearing on him, weighing him down, and he wants nothing more than the show to end and for him to finally life honestly and openly as bisexual.

This book certainly shows, especially from J.R.'s point of view, the struggles of occupying a space where you can't be truthful, where you can't be your honest self. Of erasure, of being bisexual when everyone else thinks he's straight. He's been typecast in Trip League, crammed into a stereotype that those in charge of the show wanted, and it hurts him. He's constantly in a space full of people telling him to be quiet, to keep pretending, to not rock the boat and be different. Because it doesn't matter, right? He can just date women. Because he would've already dated women so he's basically straight, right? No. And all the while every piece of him is screaming to stop hiding. During the cruise he has Quinn to lean on, to be honest with, but it's not enough.

What I like about this series is how honest and realistic everyone's problems are. This could happen to anyone, everyone, and does happen so often in real life. So many hide their sexuality, their personality, their mental health status, because of family reasons, other personal reasons, work-related reasons. It's sad that, as open and progressive as many parts of the world claim to be, people still can't be honest and open about who they are. What they're anxious or worried about. Who they're attracted to, romantically and/or sexually. It's easy to look at what sets us apart, from differentiates us from each other, while forgetting that we're all human beings that deserve equal respect. A great addition to the series.

Quick note that as with most new adult titles out there, there is some explicit sexual content.

(I received an e-galley of this title to review from Penguin through NetGalley.)

Me on What We Left Behind

Title: What We Left Behind
Author: Robin Talley
Release Date: October 27, 2015
Publisher: Harlequin Teen

Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. They've been together forever. They never fight. They're deeply, hopelessly in love. When they separate for their first year at college—Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU—they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, their relationship will surely thrive. The reality of being apart, however, is a lot different than they expected. As Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, falls in with a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing, Gretchen struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. While Toni worries that Gretchen, who is not trans, just won't understand what is going on, Gretchen begins to wonder where she fits in Toni's life. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begins to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide—have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them together?

What We Left Behind is a look at the growing up people do when they move away to college, when they're given the chance to figure out who they are with complete strangers. A look at relationships and how glamourous they are in the beginning, but things change over time. A look at identity and how labels don's always work for everyone.

Toni and Gretchen, apart for the first time in a while, are off to that wild and wonderful world known as college. They're coming face to face with new settings, new people, and new ideas. But they still want to be together. They still love each other. It's hard for them, being apart. Then life pushes its way between them. Then Toni meets some new people, starts thinking about what it is to be genderqueer, to be seen as a girl or a guy. Then Gretchen feels lost, supportive but kept in the dark. And the two learn relationships are harder than they thought.

I think this is a look at gender, sexuality, and identity. At the different ways we see ourselves and how we want other to see us when those defining qualities fall outside the 'standard' male/female binary. It's easy to support Toni, to follow Toni along as Toni navigates being genderqueer and being around others who are genderqueer and transgender. But it felt like Toni was identifying as genderqueer because Toni wasn't yet confident enough to identify as trans. I didn't think that's what genderqueer meant. Toni was so negative at times, thinking that Gretchen wouldn't understand, that Toni's sister wouldn't understand, that it was easier to hide. But these are my assumptions as a cisgender woman. While they're all I have, they don't excuse how wrong I could be in reading Toni's character. All I can do is listen and learn.

I can't say that I've ever been in the same situations that Toni and Gretchen were in, but I can certainly empathize with their struggle to figure out who they are and how to support those they love when they're going through something that they haven't. There's no right or wrong way to be gay or lesbian or bisexual, to be genderqueer or transgender. It's all up to you whether or not you want to use certain pronouns. It's okay to question who you want to be, who you want to present to the world. It's okay to have questions, and it's okay to be frustrated when you don't understand.

(I received an e-galley of this title to review from Harlequin through NetGalley.)

Me on Lonely Hearts

Title: Lonely Hearts
Author: Heidi Cullinan
Release Date: August 11, 2015
Publisher: Samhain Publishing

With the quiet help of his wealthy family, Sebastian "Baz" Acker has successfully kept his painful past at bay. But as the end of college draws near, his friends—his buffer zone—are preparing to move on, while his own life is at a crippling standstill.With loneliness bearing down on him, Baz hooks up—then opens up—with Elijah Prince, the guy Baz took a bullet for last year. The aftershocks of their one-night stand leave giant cracks in Baz's carefully constructed armor. For the first time, the prospect isn't terrifying. Accustomed to escaping his demons by withdrawing into his imagination, Elijah isn't used to having a happy herd of friends. He's even less comfortable as the object of a notorious playboy's affections. Yet all signs seem to indicate this time happiness might be within his grasp. When Baz's mother runs for a highly sought-after public office, the media hounds drag Baz's and Elijah's pasts into the light. In the blinding glare, Baz and Elijah face the ultimate test: discovering if they're stronger together... or apart.

Lonely Hearts is emotional and rough, all about two battered and bruised young men, one trying to find his place with everything changing around him, one still broken and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Now that he's free from his overly religious parents, now that he's in a safer situation, Elijah's bitter with all the happiness around him. It's not his scene, not after the time he spent on the streets, not after what he's done to distance himself from his pain. He didn't want to be saved by his new friends, but saved he was, and now he has to accept that people actually care about him. But he still can't shake the feeling that they're all going to chuck him to the curb the second he lets himself care back. There's also Baz to deal with. Bax who saved him from street living. Baz who took a bullet for him. Baz who attracts him and infuriates him by barely talking to him.

Baz carries around a lot, more than the scars and the titanium he got after being targeted and attacked when he was a teen, but he's happy. For the most part. He has friends who care about him, he has family who supports him. But the oldest of his friends are about to graduate, and his mother's about to run for a Senate position. Things are changing and it's making him panic. He also has Elijah, in some way, but it's complicated. He sees himself in Elijah, he wants to help, but they can barely string a conversation together, what with all the awkwardness and the attraction smoldering between the two of them.

One of the things this book highlights, along with the previous two in the series, is the ways in which we rely on and ask others to rely on us. For help or support, be it emotional or financial. For companionship, for affection. After his attack and through his resulting chronic pain, Baz accepted help from those around him, supporting them as they supported him. It's harder with Elijah, he's far more jaded because he's never had anyone on his side supporting him. He's wary, skittish. He's better than he was, no longer snapping at every offered hand, but he's overwhelmed by the need to pay everyone back. He needs to learn that sometimes people offer help, money, and time without expecting it in return.

I think this is the hardest and grittiest book of the three, that this one too the most out of its main characters. That this was the furthest they were pushed compared to the others. Both of them are so broken, so stuck, and it takes so much for them to change, to realize that everything's going to be okay. I'm pretty sure fans of the previous books will enjoy this.

Quick note that this title contains explicit sexual content and some drug use (some prescription).

(I received an e-galley of this title to review from Samhain Publishing through NetGalley.)

Me on Focus on Me

Title: Focus on Me
Author: Megan Erickson
Release Date: July 21, 2015
Publisher: Intermix (Penguin imprint)

Colin Hartman can now add college to his list of failures. On the coast-to-coast trek home from California, Colin stops at a gas station in the Nevada desert, and can't help noticing the guy in tight jeans looking like he just stepped off a catwalk. When he realizes Catwalk is stranded, Colin offers a ride. Riley only intended to take a short ride in Colin's Jeep to the Grand Canyon. But one detour leads to another until they finally find themselves tumbling into bed together. However there are shadows in Riley's eyes that hide a troubled past. And when those shadows threaten to bury the man whom Colin has fallen in love with, he vows to get Riley the help he needs. For once in his life, quitting isn't an option…

Focus on Me is all parts sweet and sad and funny. What you get here is two guys meeting by chance and taking a bit of a trip together. Colin is on his way home, bothered with not being able to finish college and not knowing what he's good for, and Riley is just on his way out, trying to find something that will make him happy before he's swept under the waves of his depression. What they become to each other is something meaningful, something that the other needs, but sometimes that isn't enough.

Colin is a supportive guy, he helps Riley lighten the load, helps him smile. And Riley feels more like a person with Colin around. They compliment each other and help each other. But road trips and kisses can't solve everything. The best thing is that them being in love doesn't fix their problems. The co-dependency is strong, but both acknowledge that it can't continue. They still have to work hard, still have to put in the effort in the other parts of their lives, in order to be happy and mentally healthy.

I wonder how I can phrase this thought of mine, how I can do it correctly. Colin and Riley are gay, but this isn't about them being gay. It's about them being people, being in their early 20's and feeling lost and confused. It's about them trying to find what's next. They're people. And that's what I love about this book.

This book says a number of things. That it's okay to lean on people, that it's okay to be sad, but that you can never give up. There's always something out there, someone out there, for you to focus on and pull yourself up. But you have to make that hard choice to want to change for yourself.

I really enjoyed this book because of what and who is in it. Smart people, a fun road trip, supportive family members, caring friends, and a hopefully accurate look at mental illness pre- and during treatment. If you enjoyed Trust the Focus, love romance, or are looking for something with a happy ending, give this a read.

Quick note that as with most new adult titles out there, there is some explicit sexual content.

(I downloaded an e-galley of this title from NetGalley.)

Me on Waiting on Wednesday (233)

Waiting on Wednesday is a bunch of weekly fun hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine. :)

Title: What We Left Behind
Author: Robin Talley
Release Date: October 27, 2015
Publisher: Harlequin Teen

From Goodreads:

From the critically acclaimed author of Lies We Tell Ourselves comes an emotional, empowering story of what happens when love isn't enough to conquer all.

Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. They've been together forever. They never fight. They're deeply, hopelessly in love. When they separate for their first year at college—Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU—they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, their relationship will surely thrive.

The reality of being apart, however, is a lot different than they expected. As Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, falls in with a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing, Gretchen struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship.

While Toni worries that Gretchen, who is not trans, just won't understand what is going on, Gretchen begins to wonder where she fits in Toni's life. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begins to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide—have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them together?

I love the idea of this book. I love the idea of characters that don't fit into any kind of cookie cutter shape. I love the idea of people pushing hard to figure out who they are outside of the invisible boundaries that society has put on us. Maybe it's because I'm still, slowly, figuring out who I am.

Me on Fangirl

Title: Fangirl
Author: Rainbow Rowell
Release Date: September 10, 2013
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Cath is a Simon Snow fan. Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan, but for Cath, being a fan is her life. And she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving. Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere. Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to. Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words, and she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone. For Cath, the question is: Can she do this? Is she ready to start living her own life? And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?

Fangirl is a humourous, entertaining, emotional, and compelling book. It's all about growing up, moving on, and living your own life instead of someone else's. It's okay to wonder what would happen if you could live inside the world of a book, if you could re-write it, but you can't forget your own life. It's the only one you'll ever get.

Cath is a very curious but very intriguing character. I fell for her awkwardness and her bookishness. This time at college, this time away from her sister and her father, is supposed to be about change. She's (sort of, because she's in a dorm) on her own, living her own life, but is she really? Can she move away from constantly spending time away from her twin and their father? Can she move away from Simon Snow and fanfiction? What intrigued me most about Cath was her staunch unwillingness towards most kinds of change. As the world around her changes, she retreats into herself, finding solace in fanfiction, in a world already created that she can manipulate. It's a coping mechanism, something familiar to turn back to when everything is frightening, when she can't control things. Like her sister. Like her father. Like her strange roommate and her boyfriend.

Fandom, being part of a fandom, is something I know, and so the book felt rather personal. I never lived in a dorm during university, I was never devoted enough to write fanfiction, but I've escaped from reality in order to immerse myself in books about world not my own. There's a certain kind of joy in having so much fun in a world someone else has created and meeting people who feel the same. It lessens the sting of feeling alone. Currently, it feels like fandoms are bigger than what they used to be, that the immediateness of the internet and social media has changed things. That science fiction and fantasy and comic book conventions (San Diego Comic Con, Fan Expo Toronto, WonderCon, LeakyCon, World Fantasy Con, Dragon*Con) are growing at a rapid rate. With this growth and popularity, it's no longer 'nerdy' or 'geeky' to be part of a fandom, no longer just for nerdy guys living in their parents' basements watching reruns of Star Trek over and over.

But being part of a fandom, living vicariously through fanfiction, isn't healthy. As a way to escape, to calm down after a stressful day, as entertainment, as a creative outlet, yes. For Cath and Wren, it became a coping mechanism for them after the abrupt departure of their mother. About a third of the way through the book, one character suggests that if you fall in love with the world you discover in a book, you can just write fanfiction in order to keep on living there. Another character replies, saying they "wouldn't call that living," and they're right. It's not. But sometimes it's hard to draw the line and separate fandom from reality.

When you hit college, when you're living in a dorm away from your parents, when you're suddenly gifted these new freedoms, it can be rather overwhelming. New routines, new people, new ideas, new places. Sometimes, it's new everything. Some can handle the change, some leave, some self-destruct. Everyone's time at college is different, and this is Cath's time.

This book is all about Cath, Cath figuring out the strange new world that is college, Cath figuring out boys and how they work, Cath figuring out that sometimes identical twins aren't that identical, Cath figuring out that change sucks and hurts but it has to happen. It's time to grow up, time to take that next step towards the rest of her life.

(I received an e-galley of this title to review from St. Martin's Press through NetGalley.)

Me on (You) Set Me on Fire

Title: (You) Set Me on Fire
Author: Mariko Tamaki
Release Date: September 4, 2012
Publisher: Razorbill Canada (Penguin Canada imprint)

Allison Lee is seventeen and off to college in the fall. So far, she's been in love once (a total catastrophe) and on fire twice (also pretty bad). Both have left their scars on her. Looking more like burnt chicken than a radiant and reborn phoenix, Allison heads off to live in residence at St. Joseph's College, where she discovers the true gift of being a freshman: the gift of reinventing yourself. Miles away from home and high school, the all-girls dorm is a strange new world to her, a place of new social circles and challenges. She still feels like the odd man out, until Shar appears. Shar quickly becomes the centre of Allison's world, drawing her in with her dangerous allure. Will Allison get burned again? And if she does, what scars will she earn this time?

(You) Set Me on Fire is a rather honest and blunt look at a girl's first year at college and all she comes across, be they class subject matter, social situations, parties, drinking, family, or romance. It's very much a coming-of-age story for Allison, her first foray into the world, or that sub-adult world that occurs between high school and after college. It's also an intriguing comparison between love and fire, how they leave scars on our bodies, how they impact our lives, how they change us for better or for worse. It certainly leans towards the darker side of college, the drinking and the possibly dangerous situations, but at the end it is all about Allison, about her journey to figure out what kind of person she is, scars and all.

At the beginning, Allison is really damaged, apart from the scars. She's ready to leave high school behind, all the people she knew and cared about and didn't care about, and she's ready to find new social circles to be a part of. But one of Allison's big flaws is how anti-social she is, and once she's alone at college she's pulled into a world that contains a lot of making friends and partying. Is that what college really is about? There are times when she goes to her classes, times when she does homework and exams, but not as much as I expected.

Of course, everything takes a back seat when she meets Shar. It's such a spectacularly complicated relationship, Allison and Shar. She appears like a flash, quickly becomes the centre of everything, and takes over. It's messy, it's harsh, it's a semi-pseudo-romance, it's impossible to define, and it leaves Allison struggling to figure it all out.

College does give you the change to reinvent yourself, especially if you move away and live in a dorm. Odds are, no one will know anything from your past, none of the bad sides and the rumours. It's a chance for Allison to start over, which, given her hangups and social issues.

Love and fire and college, all three have their similarities. They can be harsh, painful, dangerous. They can be cleansing, a new experience. They can scar you for life and wipe away the past so you can focus on the future. Life-changing events happen. You just have to be able to come out on the other side, no matter if you've gained a new scar or two. Allison's story is an honest one, a very honest one, and hopefully readers will appreciate that.

(I received an advance copy of this book to review from Penguin Canada.)