Me on Damsel

Title: Damsel
Author: Elana K. Arnold
Release Date: October 2, 2018
Publisher: Balzer + Bray (HarperCollins imprint)

When Ama wakes in the arms of Prince Emory, however, she knows none of this. She has no memory of what came before she was captured by the dragon, or what horrors she has faced in its lair. She knows only this handsome prince, the story he tells of her rescue, and her destiny to sit on the throne beside him. Ama comes with Emory back to the kingdom of Harding, hailed as the new princess, welcomed to the court. However, as soon as her first night falls, she begins to realize that not all is as it seems, that there is more to the legends of the dragons and the damsels than anyone knows–and that the greatest threats to her life may not be behind her, but here, in front of her.

Damsel starts like a new chapter in a book where the plot never changes. The prince heads off to defeat a dragon, returns with a damsel he rescued from the tower, marries her, becomes king, has a son, and when the son is old enough, he heads off to defeat a dragon. This is how it is, again and again. Now, it's Emory's turn to defeat the dragon. And so he returns with his damsel, Ama, who remembers nothing of her life before. This is a dark feminist tale, an exploration of rape culture. It's harsh and occasionally graphic, bound to be disturbing and triggering to some. It's the story of a young woman who had something taken from her, whose inner fire is slowly burning out, and how she brings it to life once more. This is all about the pain and fear that so many young women are subjected to by men, both those they know and complete strangers. The fear that they will be beaten or raped if they don't listen, if they don't do what men want, if they don't just stay quiet and sit in an empty room. It's also about the fire inside those young women, the power they hide and the power they set free. This is one of those hard, discussion-starting books that not everyone will want to read because of the abuse and rape scenes.

In terms of whether or not I enjoyed it, not really, but how can you like a book about abuse and rape and young women perpetually forced into situations without their consent? I found the twist to be rather obvious, but I figured what it was after reading the summary. I was curious as to how it would all play out.

(I downloaded an e-galley of this title from HarperCollins through Edelweiss.)

Me on Starfish

Title: Starfish
Author: Akemi Dawn Bowman
Release Date: September 26, 2017
Publisher: Simon Pulse (Simon & Schuster imprint)

Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she's thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn't quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin. But then Kiko doesn't get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave.

Starfish is honest and raw, a look at a young woman struggling to find herself, find her place in the world, while it feels like nothing will work out.

Kiko is bright and creative, caring. But she's been beaten down after years of passive-aggressive comments and racist put-downs by her white mother, a woman who cares far more about herself and how others see her than her own children. She rarely says what she's thinking, instead retreating and hiding in her art. Art school will be Kiko's escape, her chance to be free. But then comes the rejection letter. Then comes the news that her uncle, a man who assaulted her when she was younger, is moving in with them, and there goes all of Kiko's hopes and dreams.

I found it so hard, emotionally, to read this. It was easy for me to feel for Kiko, to want the horrible people in her life to be better, to want her to leave them sooner to spare her any more emotional pain. But I couldn't. She had to learn, learn what her limit was, learn that it was okay to leave. Learn that some people will never change, no matter how many times they actually say the right things, because they will always go back to saying the wrong things. With a book this harsh and emotional, there were bound to be parts I didn't enjoy (like Kiko's mother), but without those people and those events, it wouldn't be the same book. It wouldn't be the same blisteringly honest book. I would definitely recommend this to readers looking for honest books, books that so accurately portray the struggle with anxiety and self-doubt.

(I borrowed a copy of this title from the library.)

Me on The Wish Granter

Title: The Wish Granter
Author: C.J. Redwine
Release Date: February 14, 2017
Publisher: Balzer + Bray (HarperCollins imprint)

The world has turned upside down for Thad and Ari Glavan, the bastard twins of Súndraille's king. Their mother was murdered. The royal family died mysteriously. And now Thad sits on the throne of a kingdom whose streets are suddenly overrun with violence that he can't stop. Growing up ignored by the nobility, Ari never wanted to be a proper princess. And when Thad suddenly starts training Ari to take his place, she realizes that her brother's ascension to the throne wasn't fate. It was the work of a Wish Granter named Alistair Teague, who tricked Thad into wishing away both the safety of his people and his soul in exchange for the crown. So Ari recruits the help of Thad's enigmatic new weapons master, Sebastian Vaughn, to teach her how to fight Teague. With secret ties to Teague's criminal empire, Sebastian might just hold the key to discovering Alistair's weaknesses, saving Ari's brother—and herself. But Teague is ruthless and more than ready to destroy anyone who dares stand in his way—and now he has his sights set on the princess. And if Ari can't outwit him, she'll lose Sebastian, her brother...and her soul.

The Wish Granter is dark and devious, filled with plots, secrets, and a search for power.

Ari is stubborn and unexpected. Raised in the palace but not with a sense of honour or importance, her sudden rise to princessdom and her brother's equally sudden crowning have left her slightly lost. Especially when she discovers a rather sinister character is behind their sudden rise in power. But once she knows who Teague is, what her brother signed away in order to keep them safe, she falls headfirst into planning and plotting. The problem is that only so much is known, only so much is willing to be talked about, and Teague is more ruthless than she could imagine.

Sebastian can't wait to be on his own. Away from his abusive father, his drug addict mother. He wants out, needs to get out, and this chance to work at the palace could be the start of something. Of saving up enough coin in order to leave, to find a safe place of his own. Until the new princess walks in wanting iron weapons and knowledge of Teague, a man Sebastian knows too well for his liking. He's a broken, battered young man, bruised and scarred. He swore he never become his father, never hurt people for money or power, but who knows how far he'll be pushed in order to save Ari.

There are moments of lightness, of Ari struggling to be a proper princess, but many more serious moments. Assaults and kidnappings. Organized crime, smuggling and drug addiction. Parental abuse. The serious tone carries through the book, weighing it down. This is a rather sinister retelling, the heroine and hero are up against a far more ruthless and dangerous Rumpelstiltskin than I'd expected. The stakes are high and the consequences are brutal. It felt like the serious tone dragged the story along near the middle and towards the ending. This is only loosely connected to the previous book, the previous kingdom mentioned a couple of times, but I imagine that if you enjoyed The Shadow Queen you'll also enjoy this.

(I downloaded an e-galley of this title from HarperCollins through Edelweiss.)

Blog Tour - Courtney Summers

Hi there! Welcome to the blog tour for All the Rage by Courtney Summers. :) You need to read this book. I know, it's harsh, it's hard, it's sad, it reeks of disbelief and hopelessness and adults dismissing the anger and sorrow of a teen girl, but it's a book that needs to be out there for everyone to read.

There was something I couldn't escape, couldn't ignore, as I read All the Rage, and that was Romy and her nail polish. The following is a question that I posed to Courtney.

What intrigued me right from page one of All the Rage was the nail polish, was Romy's in-depth application process of it and the lipstick. In her own words, it's a form of armour. It builds her up, it makes her feel stronger. She relies on it to get through each day. But it's also rather flimsy. It takes nothing to wipe off lipstick, to pick at nail polish. Why the nail polish and lipstick? As armour, like mentioned before? As a coping mechanism? As a clear message to others that she wasn't going to take their crap, their dismissive attitude, their slurs, anymore?

Romy primarily thinks of her lipstick and nail polish as armour, but it's more than that. It's also a way she reclaims herself, little by little. She's unable to process her rape, and putting on her lipstick and nail polish helps her to compartmentalize the girl the rape happened to, until she's ready, emotionally, to come to terms with it. This is why she panics when her make-up is compromised; she's afraid it makes her trauma more visible to others. It's also a visual representation of her anger over what happened to her, as red is often a colour we associate with rage.

And finally, it's an element of control she has over her peers. By wearing bright red nail polish and lipstick, Romy is directing focus in a way she control--she is essentially telling people who they are looking at, so she can survive the way they're looking at her. It's fragile, but it's the only thing she feels she has. The lipstick and nail polish are all about emotional survival.

Romy's nail polish, her lipstick, the vivid colour. I couldn't escape it as I read All the Rage. It was always there, just Romy was, just like her rape was, just like the town's indifference and disdain was. For those who've read it, what did you think of Romy's routine, her attempt at armour? For those who haven't, what are you expecting to discover when you finally read it?

Thanks so much to Courtney for the guest post, and to Raincoast Books for the blog tour. Make sure you check out All the Rage when it comes out on April 14th! And check out the other stops on the tour! :)

Me on All the Rage

Title: All the Rage
Author: Courtney Summers
Release Date: April 14, 2015
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (Macmillan imprint)

The sheriff's son is not the golden boy everyone thinks he is, and Romy Grey knows that for a fact. Because no one wants to believe a girl from the wrong side of town, the truth about him has cost her everything—friends, family, and her community. Branded a liar and bullied relentlessly by a group of kids she used to hang out with, Romy's only refuge is the diner where she works outside of town. No one knows her name or her past there; she can finally be anonymous. But when a girl with ties to both Romy and the sherrif's son goes missing after a party, and news of him assaulting another girl in a town close by gets out, Romy must decide whether she wants to fight or carry the burden of knowing more girls could get hurt if she doesn't speak up. Nobody believed her the first time, and they certainly won't now, but the cost of her silence might be more than she can bear.

All the Rage is about the dark, secret things kept tucked away, swept under rugs, that should be discussed. It's about the heavy things out in the open for all the world to see that shouldn't be. It's a harsh view of the world centered around, unfortunately, a common occurrence that is rarely awarded the value and importance it deserves.

Romy is in pain, suffering in silence, trying to move on from what happened but few will let her. Many adults, many classmates, they all assume the worst about her. That she's a liar. That she wasn't raped. But she isn't, and she was. Her anger and sorrow are woven together, filling each page with her rage, her hopelessness. Everyone asks everything and nothing from her. They believe her to be a liar but offer no opportunity for her to present her side. They don't care about her. She isn't the kind of girl they care about. But Penny, gorgeous and missing Penny, is.

Part of this book is about Romy speaking out against what happened to her, about what's happening in Grebe. She has the power to speak out against her rapist, but at the same time she doesn't. Any power she once had was stripped from her, by the police, by her peers. By her rapist. Because that's what rape is. It isn't about sex, it's about power. Without it, what's left for Romy? How can she speak up, speak out, when she has nothing? When they've reduced her to nothing?

Girls are treated terribly, both here and in real life. The ways we judge, the ways we're judged. All because we look a certain way or act a certain way, because of who our parents are/were or what part of town we live in. We're believed or we aren't because of things we have no control over. There's the truth, there's what people think happen, and there's those who turn a blind eye because they'd rather believe something else. But with so many people knowing what happened to Romy, what's the point? Money? Ruining a business or someone's "good" name? And why condemn Romy but search high and low for Penny? Double standards rule the world.

Is this what the future holds, what the present currently holds, for young women who say they were raped? Ignorance. Slurs. Taunting. Abuse. Should we tell young girls that this is how the world works? That if they're ever raped, it's possible that no one will believe you? That they'll blame you for ruining the life of a young man who had everything going for him? Why is the girl always blamed? This is horrifying. Instead of telling women to be careful, to not wear certain clothes, to not act a certain way, we should be telling men not to rape. Why is all the effort to not be raped placed on the woman? She's not the only person in the situation. Someone else is there, the one who actually causes all the pain and suffering.

This book is a work of fiction, but it's so much closer to reality for many girls. Having fun at parties, drinking too much because there aren't any adults around, unable to know where they are or who they're with, unable to say stop when there's a hand up her shirt or down her pants, when there's a hand over their mouth or an arm pressed into their throat to silence their cries. This should be required reading for everyone. Teenage boys as well as girls. Grown men as well as women.

(I received an advance copy of this title to review from Raincoast Books.)

Me on Live Through This

Title: Live Through This
Author: Mindi Scott
Release Date: October 2, 2012
Publisher: Simon Pulse (Simon & Schuster imprint)

From the outside, Coley's life seems pretty normal. It's not perfect, her best friend is mad at her, but her adorable crush Reese is a welcome distraction. Plus, she's got a great family to fall back on with a mom and step-dad who would stop at nothing to keep her and her siblings happy. But Coley has some secrets, some she won't dare admit even to herself, like how her near-perfect life is a façade. Like how she's been hiding the shame and guilt of a relationship that crossed the line. Now that she's got her first real chance to have a boyfriend, a decade's worth of lies are on the verge of unraveling.

Live Through This is an unexpected eye-opener, a look into a carefully crafted world hiding some dark and painful secrets. Coley is hiding something and she's trying to continue with her life, trying to live through it, but masks never last for long and all too soon for Coley, afraid of facing the truth, it crumbles at her feet. This book is honest and emotional, highlighting some serious trauma rarely discussed but very important.

I'm often torn when it comes to issue books, especially those that discuss sexual abuse. Books like that tend to hit hard with me because no one should ever have to feel the shame and pain of being sexually assaulted. It's possibly why I don't personally read a lot of issue books. Books that make me feel emotional, that make my heart hurt, are amazing, but it's different when I feel helpless to stop the suffering of the character.

That being said, this was a wonderful eye-opener of a book. It starts like a shot, like a punch to the chest, and it kept me on edge even when Coley put on her mask and tried to live her normal life. The sexual abuse that Coley experiences come from a place she wouldn't expect it to come from, a place of love and trust. But then it evolves, changing to something closer to confusion, and it leaves her in a dark place she can't escape but wants desperately to run from. She doesn't know what to do, and so she hides, hides behind a bright smile and genuine affection for her friends and family.

Books like this, while sensitive in nature, are powerful because of the message they carry. Profound, emotional, and so realistic, Coley's story needs to be passed on to others.

(I purchased a copy of this book.)